Scramble Head

Jealousy seems to have become directionlessness and groundlessness. Those ness-ish-type words.

Do you ever feel like you’re speaking a completely incomprehensible language?

Do you ever judge people for judging people? And then judge yourself in turn for judging them?

I know I’ll make it back to loving kindness by the end of this ditty. The dance-along may be a bit hectic, the pre-conceptions a bit rigid, but we’ll sing it all out. The human beings know more than we give them credit for. Find their little lights and you’ll beam all day and night. I have more than a few friends that would grab my hand if I needed something to hold on to. Each breath that enters and exits my lungs sounds like waves. My day name is DoveTree. I’m remembering the lighter side...

Pangs

Part II:

I am feeling jealous…

In this particular moment, this is what jealousy feels like:

I have a cloud looming over my head, zapping me with lightning every time I move. Usually the zaps are small, but occasionally the charge is so high that I feel paralyzed, dominated, stripped of my core. Pretty fucking lousy.

So this is where I am. Feeling unpleasant feelings. They are just feelings. They provide me with an opportunity, an awakening of the heart. Though lightning is dangerous, I can also use it as a source of power and strength, if I can learn to let it run through my body without hindering the flow. There is more to me than these jealous feelings.

Soulstice Journey :P

Yesterday, the summer solstice (the longest day of the year), I did the ritual circumambulation of Mount Tamalpais. A group of 40 or 50 of us took about 10 hours to walk a 15-mile path around the mountain, with stops for lunch and chanting around chosen sacred points along the way. The idea was to walk silently, though people became more and more chatty by the end.

It was… long. 15 miles is a long walk for a body out of practice in walking long distances. It was also stunning. The landscape in this particular area is so varied, I felt like I had gone through several worlds by the time we made it back to Muir Woods parking lot. It was also healing. A chance to be with good friends and be silent.

By the end it seemed like my mind had walked about 3 times the distance that my feet had. I would like to get back to meditating more regularly, and this walk reminded me of that.

What a blessing to spend the solstice on a journey with people I love dearly!

Inspired by...... ME

Tomorrow I might wake up and look like this...

That would be ok.

 

I have the urge to act with uninhibited irreverence. Which might, but wouldn’t necessarily involve:

1) Throwing baby owls at Obama

2) Stringing carrots on my neighbors’ cars

3) Limiting my vocabulary to 5 words for 5 days

4) Closing my eyes anytime I engage in conversation with a member of the opposite sex

5) Snarling every time I walk past a eucalyptus tree

Savor the crumbs

Simplify.

 

I seem to have dedicated a good portion of the recent years in my life to pursuing human drama and mischief. Or have they pursued me? Regardless, they have been part of my experience.

I’ve been caught with each finger in a different cookie jar. Chocolate all over my face. Crumbs coming out of my ears. It hasn’t really served to only eat sweets, so I’m learning to cook vegetables. I’m practicing restraint.

Sometimes my taste buds scream for the whole pie, but I’m eating one morsel at a time. Better to savor the moment.  A little craving inspires better poetry anyhow.